What Dogs Teach us about 'Good Friday' and True Love

In my ‘Learning and Motivation’ course this past week, in a discussion, my professor posed the question. “What is Love?” Now my initial and immediate response that played out in my head was to sing “Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more,” but I don’t think that was quite the answer he was looking for. (Now that I think about it—I really hope I was just singing in my head)

We were on the topic of relationships, and learning that our interpretation of ourselves is often heavily dictated by those connections and relationships that we have with those around us. In broader light, this is the rational idea that we only understand ourselves, through the context of other people. I was challenged in the notion, meaning that isolation can actually be self depreciating when we’re trying to understand why we feel a certain way, or are reacting to a particular set of circumstances. We were destined to be connected with other people, and there’s science to support that notion.

But as I thought over the idea of “What is Love?” I initially felt incapable of answering genuinely, as if my experiences, or lacktherof limited my view. Every romantic relationship I’ve been in hasn’t lasted or ever been super serious, lots of people in my life that I’ve has relationships with have come and gone in seasons—I just felt inadequate of answering the question—had I ever experienced ‘Love?’ Was everything I had crafted in my mind simply a collection of feelings stitched together by movies, music and stories of those around me? Our professor then had us pair with a neighbor to discuss, and of course I ended up next to someone who had been happily married for over 20 years; and they had no issue or filter telling me about their depiction of love. It was hard for me to even reason that they had been married and “In Love” for longer than I’ve been on this planet.

Of course this person said some good things that anyone could agree with, but at the same time, much of the words shared seemed all too textbook, and predictable to me. “It’s about communicating your feelings,” and “Understanding eachother auras,” and “Sharing your heart with them.” As someone who likely sees myself never committing to a lifetime serious relationship be it marriage or otherwise, I was quickly getting sick and tired of hearing these stereotypical claims, and did my best to not let a sense of apathy breach my complexion, as I pretended to be interested in hearing about their marriage.

So over the course of this past week, I’ve been adamantly searching for what love is. Not necessarily in an effort to find it, but rather in an effort to capture the essence, and operationally define it.

I think that I’ve come to a somewhat solid definition.

“True Love is Wiping the Boogers out of your Dog’s Eyes”

[If you want to quit reading at this point, it’s a great place to end it, but you can continue reading if you would like to; so I can explain my theory. ]

When your dog gets snot drainage in his or her eyes, they are nearly helpless to get it out. They might try and rub it off on the couch, or on the carpet, but chances are, they can’t get rid of it on their own. Sometimes it’ll be runny and sticky, and other times it will be dry and crusty, but regardless it limits their vision and overall quality of life.

It’s such a special moment when that four legged creature looks you in the eyes as you wipe away the sticky mucus from their eyes with a warm wash cloth; and whether they are thankful for it or not, you know that they can see better and continue about their day shredding tennis balls, or digging up the flower beds.

I remember when my lab Tucker was nearing his time on earth, he has the worst nasal drainages that flooded his tear ducts and it was a constant daily battle to keep them clean. But every time I would wash his eyes, those dark black circles would look back at me and say “My Human…tanks fur looking out fur me, I wuv u.”

I think that’s what love is—It’s when you are looked out for, and cared for, with no stipulations attached. Where regardless of the response or gratitude you’re given, you still keep showing up, being cleaned when your dirty, being validated, given decency and being known.

This is a much different version of love than our society portrays. This is because as a society we have come to a place that romanticizes the predispositions of love, without the inherent service of love. Flowers, and chocolates and giant stuffed bears have become a readily available replacement for authentic human love.

In my search for a definition of love, I’ve been challenged to reframe my faith, and my views.

Good Friday.

Historically, there’s not a whole lot of ‘Good’ about it. It’s the day Jesus was betrayed by his many of his once claimed followers, and was considered a traitor. These people who had just a week ago adored him and worshipped his goodness. He was spit on, mocked, shamed and belittled as he carried a cross up Mount Calvary, in the city of Golgotha; that same cross that would be the weapon of his soon execution.

Most western cultures have heard the relative gospel story of Jesus, but let’s think of it in a literal sense for a moment.

At 33 years old, could you confidently face death by torture? Could you lay down your whole life in this very moment? I highly doubt it. We are at a point in our society where through medical advancements we are prolonging life so much to the point that we are fearful of death entirely and will avoid it at almost any cost.

Now let’s think, would you die willingly in the place of the person or people you absolutely hate? I know I couldn’t do it.

Would your last breaths on earth be used to say the words “Father Forgive them, they know not what they do.” Or would they be vengeful words of hate towards those who persecute you.

Could you be so humbled that you would forgive those people for bullying you, harassing you, crushing your spirit?

The rhetoric of the Easter season is often over simplified. We know the story, we can believe it as a historically documented event, but what does it really mean for our day to day lives?

Here’s a hint.

Much like the love a dog owner shows their pet as they clean their eyes giving them the ability to see clearly, regardless of their response, Jesus offers us the same thing.

His execution on the cross was the ultimate one time atonement for our systemic condition of sin that we are each born into. This offers us a free salvation into heaven, after our time on earth expires.

But that doesn’t mean Jesus is only relevant for when we die. In fact, Jesus wants to offer us an abundant life right now, and he wants to work all things for “your good” even if we don’t deserve it.

In just under two weeks, I’m moving to Michigan to live on a camp as a Property Intern, where I will be living closely with other young adults being a part of weekly camps for middle schoolers and high schoolers. Where they may for the first time hear the message of hope that the gospel provides.

That all happened because of a turn of events where I thought I’d have more opportunity by leaving the state for college, but due to financial inabilitities I stayed in Colorado, and found a place of belonging working in student recreation—a field I never anticipated going into; eventually working my way into serving with the ministry of Younglife.

Had I gone somewhere else, I don’t know if I would have spent the last summers in Arizona and British Columbia, and now Michigan doing something I can truly say that I ‘love.’

If you would have told me eight or so years ago that I’d be working for a Christian organization, I would have laughed in your face, probably argued with you trying to tell you that you’re wrong and that those fairy tale stories aren’t for me. Yet—here I am.

What’s unique about the Gospel of Jesus from any other world religion is that Jesus pursues us intimately, and regardless of whether we’re thankful for his involvement in our life, he shows us unfaultered, and genuine love and makes his presence real even if we don’t acknowledge it. He is intrinsically stitching the complexity of our lives together, in something that we can only begin to consider to be beautiful.

When we fall short and mess up, he doesn’t condemn or criticize, but embraces us with open arms and meets us where we are. Even in the dirtiness of our sinful nature that often blinds us, Jesus looks us in the eyes, and with that warm wash cloth cleans us, giving us enlightenment and vision for the future.

As we celebrate this Easter weekend in whatever traditions and plans you have, have joy knowing that the Love that was demonstrated on Calvary by the author of universe several hundred years ago is still relative, alive and true today. That you don’t have to live in the shame of the past, but that you can have freedom and life abundant.

The Darkest Day of our Society, set the stage for the Redemption of our Humanity.

Hold Fast.

Happy Good Friday.

-Nick